Just had a shouting match with my mom again. Despite the fact that this is probably one of the rare occasions that I am home for dinner, she has chosen to ruin the moment again. Probably that's the reason I don't like to go home. I'm a pretty homely person to start with in fact, I prefer to get home to charge up for work the next day, to watch the latest dramas that I download from the Net, browse the Internet, chat with fellow homely friends. However, the thought of going home to face her is just a tough hill to climb.

The topic of our quarrels this time is dinner. Since I had a maid and I'm tired, I just asked the maid to bring me my dinner. Got scolded by that, kept asking me to learn to take food myself, etc. Wah liew. Then when i ate my dinner in front of my monitor, she kept scolding and scolding non-stop saying I should eat my dinner first and do things later. I mean it seems logical when u look at it in print but in actual situation, it just pisses the hell out of me when all I wanted was to tuck into my long-delayed dinner at 930pm. Ignoring, retorting, reasoning - non of it worked. Haiz. I just tell her this is the reason why I don't wish to come home so early. It's either this or that. Questioning me about my computer stuff, saying that I waste time watching shows, saying I don't read the newspaper (fyi there's something called www.asia1.com.sg, by the way i set that as homepage on YOUR computer for you to read too)

I always tell myself to get along with people, sometimes even at my own disbenefit like paying more, or asking back for money that I lent out(by the way I always forget, so if you remember you own me $$$, please return on your own accord, thank you!), etc. How is it that the person I should be most comfortable with is the one hardest to get along with? One of the simple ironic brain teasers of life.

Anyway, I'm not the rest of my family members, to do what she perceives is correct,to keep her happy or just to avoid her nags or scoldings. I refuse to be domesticated. I mean it's been like that since I was a farking chow ah beng in secondary school. Now grow up to become a struggling banker and yet i still get screwed by her up down left right. Argh. When will it ever end?

I miss the simple pleasures of life when I was living in Simei with my younger brother and my grandparents. Although we lived in a HDB flat, life was peaceful and free. Our parents were busy with their cafe(still are, sad to say now they can afford to be more slack, hence I'm seeing them more often at home these days) and we hardly saw them. To me, freedom beats living together in some high-class residential area and having conflicts with them.

Nowadays I'm contemplating to move out on my own. But I know it is quite difficult for now. My pay is not good enough to do so. I would have to learn to be more independant and do everything myself. But what if I could? What would it be? Let me see.....

It would be a fantastic apartment with a master bedroom for me and my other half and the view would face the new Marina Bay developments. When the night falls, the view will be fantastic, with the sea lighted up by all the ships and the casinos probably so bright that they block out all the light from the stars above. The living room will house my plasma tv with 7.1 Dolby Digital speakers. There will be a nice sofa with additional side sofas in case our friends pop by so we can all watch movies together. There will be a small fridge that just houses drinks so we don't have to keep going to the kitchen. There will also be a bar counter with high stools, where we can just have some drinks and discuss boys stuff.

Another room would house my books and computers and her stuff. Work related stuff and discussions will be all there. There will be a big L-work table and some additional chairs in case some business clients pop over or need some place to discuss work. There will be of course printers, faxes, scanners etc. Who knows I might work from home or do some business on EBay?

The kitchen will be small because we'll probably dine out most of the time. However, there must be pasta ingredients just in case. And instant noodles. Eggs. If my future partner is a good cook, thank gods in the heavens above. Haha.

We might probably keep a dog.. If we do, it's probably because she insists. I like playing with dogs but picking up their poo and maintenance is just too troublesome. Unless our dog can learn to do its business in the toilet bowl then ok 100% no need to discuss further let's just get one straight away! Wahaha.

Ok time to wake up... And back to hard reality!