rants of my life. clubs. music. people. relationships. love. hate. sports. sex. terrorists. money. luck.

East Coast Park


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I went to eat lunch with her at East Coast Park today. While we took a stroll, I came across some family event thingie.. Look! Sandcastle leh!

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This is some big floating objects in the sea.. Can climb up and suntan!

Seeing bladers there made me think how long I have stopped skating already. :/

Memory walk down lane


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My big brother Hui sent me this picture. Bloody hell, wonder where he dig up one. It shows me and my younger brother Daniel. Damn cute hor? Hahah.

Super high drive - Not sex drive


One fine day she asked me what makes me so sure I wanted to be a MSM. A few messages later I think we were both frustrated with the replies we gave each other. What is it that fuels my desire to be what I want to be?

Today, I hit the highest sales target in my tenure at the bank. Maybe set a record in the department itself.. I'm not sure but it sure felt good! :) Messaged her to let her know... guess what? "You think I believe u?" Well, can't blame her for that, after all she's enjoying a holiday somewhere right now - she wouldn't be convinced.

The feeling of sales achieved is really great. The 'high' that I get from getting sales in my job is what drives me more and more furiously each day. Frankly speaking going out,clubbing and stuff no longer satisfies the need that I crave for right now - success and satisfaction I get from acquiring sales.

That's probably why I want to switch department to join mortgage. If getting sales of tens of thousands each day makes me feel the way I felt today, imagine the next higher level whereby I'll be dealing in hundreds of thousands and millions?

I was sort of demoralised by my manager who gave us a review of our directions in the coming future yesterday. Apparently the gist of what I interpreted his reviews was that in order to make it in MSM, qualification-wise I was insufficient and it takes much more than just qualifications to become a MSM. Basically I fucked the qualification part and I dun even need to talk about the rest. Overall feeling I get is that he won't be that keen to push me up. I felt I'm again short-changed on what I thought I'll be getting. AND THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME! What happened to the belief that experience counts more than qualification? Or capability? Somehow topping the scales in cross-selling efforts and being in the upper cohort of the sales figures consistently don't really count? Are we looking at pure performance and track figures now or some other issues that don't even matter in this aspect?

The normal keep-sensitive-things-to-himself me told a few that I won't be renewing my contract - no matter what. With no clear path for the next one year, I see no reason to. I'll see what I can to secure an interview at least for the MSM position - with or without help. Some have said I can fit into the role of MSM(true or just nice words) but most importantly is my own self-confidence. That I dare say I do not lack of.

I have a relatively secure plan B - one that might even promise me better remuneration than a MSM if I do it properly. So nothing's gonna stop me. Not even scorns and remarks from others. So what if I'm don't have qualification?

Money money money


It has reached that time of the year once again, where rain and cold temperatures take over. You know it has come when your mom and your maid start wearing slippers in the house. Haha. Damn kuku watching them.

My partner Jac has been bugging me about ways to make lots of money fast. When we started chatting (at the expense of my sales..), I started to relate to her how I made money since poly days. The details of course are not meant for publishing here as it would probably get me into trouble should someone be jealous! We have decided to be partners if a feasible proposal comes up. Legal or illegal. Hahah.

What I mean is that this is the age I should start learning all the ropes of how to make money in this world. All my peers are masters of SPENDING money. Or at least encourage me to do so. I need to know more MAKE-money people to be like them. Reading Rich Dad Poor Dad wouldn't make me a freaking millionaire. If it could, there would be hundreds and thousands of millionaires. It probably could equip me with the concept of money-making though. But that's about it. The rest is up to me. Sighz.

I could go the route of illegal businesses. That would be the easy way out. It will be very exciting. Challenging authorities. Money laundering. Hot exotic cars. Surrounded by babes. Late night partyings. Wearing hot labels.

Or I could go the legal way. Boring. Doing mainstream stuff. Worrying about loans for the next 5-30 years once I get my car and apartment. Doing boring stuff. Buying clothes only when they have at least 20% discount.

Either way it only goes to satisfy your needs and wants. It depends. How much do you need. How much to you want? Go figure. For me, I definately want much more than I need. That's my curse. :(

French Aids Poster


French Aids Poster.. Don't mess around.

A new look!


I've changed my blog layout and it feels refreshing! Spent quite a while designing it and searching for ideas. What a boring and useless way to spend a Sunday evening.

Frankly speaking, life's really boring after you enter NS. In the past you had to study and do your projects, mingle with friends after school, chat on the phone, etc etc. In secondary school, being in the table-tennis and badminton team took up quite a fair bit of my time too with trainings and competitions.

Now as I grow up.. After work, it's pretty dull and I hate coming home nowadays. Parents are busy with their own work and I'm busy with mine. Likewise with each brother of mine(3 in case u wonder how many). Grandma is weak and fragile now and needs constant care.

Anyway, I went out on another date with her again. Supposed to watch movie but ended up all the tix were full - Singaporeans got nothing to do but watch movies only. We had dinner, got to know each other better. After that we decide to stroll from Plaza Singapura to Bugis and we side-tracked into Chjimes as well. Kind of refreshing change from the usual clubbing and stuffs. It's funny how we can chat vividly sometimes yet in the office I hardly talk to her. Well, keeping it low-key is better I guess.

I went gaming with the guys at Parklane on Sat after work. It's great reliving my old past time as we haven't been LAN gaming together for years! We played CS - Source and Quake. After 3 hours, we came out feeling dizzy and lost! Haha, we were indeed rusty but the session had a touch of deja vu to it. It was a all guy's night out afterwards at Zouk but somehow we ended up with girls all over the place! Hanny destroyed the session by meeting his gf at Zouk and I danced with Vicky and her friends too. Haha. All Guys Night officially ended after 30 mins in Zouk.

Another week coming up. Targets to hit once again. I haven't done up my newsletter yet. Fark.


The reasons why I don't like home


Just had a shouting match with my mom again. Despite the fact that this is probably one of the rare occasions that I am home for dinner, she has chosen to ruin the moment again. Probably that's the reason I don't like to go home. I'm a pretty homely person to start with in fact, I prefer to get home to charge up for work the next day, to watch the latest dramas that I download from the Net, browse the Internet, chat with fellow homely friends. However, the thought of going home to face her is just a tough hill to climb.

The topic of our quarrels this time is dinner. Since I had a maid and I'm tired, I just asked the maid to bring me my dinner. Got scolded by that, kept asking me to learn to take food myself, etc. Wah liew. Then when i ate my dinner in front of my monitor, she kept scolding and scolding non-stop saying I should eat my dinner first and do things later. I mean it seems logical when u look at it in print but in actual situation, it just pisses the hell out of me when all I wanted was to tuck into my long-delayed dinner at 930pm. Ignoring, retorting, reasoning - non of it worked. Haiz. I just tell her this is the reason why I don't wish to come home so early. It's either this or that. Questioning me about my computer stuff, saying that I waste time watching shows, saying I don't read the newspaper (fyi there's something called www.asia1.com.sg, by the way i set that as homepage on YOUR computer for you to read too)

I always tell myself to get along with people, sometimes even at my own disbenefit like paying more, or asking back for money that I lent out(by the way I always forget, so if you remember you own me $$$, please return on your own accord, thank you!), etc. How is it that the person I should be most comfortable with is the one hardest to get along with? One of the simple ironic brain teasers of life.

Anyway, I'm not the rest of my family members, to do what she perceives is correct,to keep her happy or just to avoid her nags or scoldings. I refuse to be domesticated. I mean it's been like that since I was a farking chow ah beng in secondary school. Now grow up to become a struggling banker and yet i still get screwed by her up down left right. Argh. When will it ever end?

I miss the simple pleasures of life when I was living in Simei with my younger brother and my grandparents. Although we lived in a HDB flat, life was peaceful and free. Our parents were busy with their cafe(still are, sad to say now they can afford to be more slack, hence I'm seeing them more often at home these days) and we hardly saw them. To me, freedom beats living together in some high-class residential area and having conflicts with them.

Nowadays I'm contemplating to move out on my own. But I know it is quite difficult for now. My pay is not good enough to do so. I would have to learn to be more independant and do everything myself. But what if I could? What would it be? Let me see.....

It would be a fantastic apartment with a master bedroom for me and my other half and the view would face the new Marina Bay developments. When the night falls, the view will be fantastic, with the sea lighted up by all the ships and the casinos probably so bright that they block out all the light from the stars above. The living room will house my plasma tv with 7.1 Dolby Digital speakers. There will be a nice sofa with additional side sofas in case our friends pop by so we can all watch movies together. There will be a small fridge that just houses drinks so we don't have to keep going to the kitchen. There will also be a bar counter with high stools, where we can just have some drinks and discuss boys stuff.

Another room would house my books and computers and her stuff. Work related stuff and discussions will be all there. There will be a big L-work table and some additional chairs in case some business clients pop over or need some place to discuss work. There will be of course printers, faxes, scanners etc. Who knows I might work from home or do some business on EBay?

The kitchen will be small because we'll probably dine out most of the time. However, there must be pasta ingredients just in case. And instant noodles. Eggs. If my future partner is a good cook, thank gods in the heavens above. Haha.

We might probably keep a dog.. If we do, it's probably because she insists. I like playing with dogs but picking up their poo and maintenance is just too troublesome. Unless our dog can learn to do its business in the toilet bowl then ok 100% no need to discuss further let's just get one straight away! Wahaha.

Ok time to wake up... And back to hard reality!

Fists of Fury


Met Les and Diana for shopping with dinner on Friday night. Burnt a hole with a Levi's 508. Been so long since I bought a pair of new jeans! Yay! Les bought shirts and pants for his initiation at Standard Chartered. Yo sucker, all the best! Diana bought shoes and some toy thing for her friend's child. Got new contract some more. Nice work!

Mid-way, Vixie called me to join Rose's hotel room to have some drinks because she booked the room for 3 days to celebrate her birthday. It's at Pan Pacific Hotel by the way. Girls nowadays really cash rich to celebrate their birthdays at hotels huh? Hehs. Initially had no intention to go as I felt I would feel awkward there as probably I would find a few unfamiliar faces but Vix said that she personally invited me so I should not disappoint them. Decided to go at 12am after we ended our shopping trip. Little did I expect what was in store for me at Pan Pacific. (no RA stuff la! Wah lan!)

Went up to 28th floor and saw 4 girls with 2 guys. Playing Red Indian! I quickly joined in and wished Rose happy birthday. Rose if ya reading this, treat's on me next time yah?

Wah, the drinks they mixed were horrible.. Half a glass of Vodka Raspberry with 7-11 added to the brim. I kanna one time I already kong ka kiao. Anyway didn't have a full dinner so drinks of such horrideous nature was definately out for me so I drank less. Decided to lie down on the pillow as it felt comfy and cooling. Dozed off shortly.

Around 3-4am I was awakened by shouting. Two of the girls were at blows with each other and stuff. What the hell was happening? One of them was throughly disturbed as what Vix said, Emily Rosed. Took quite a few of us GUYS to restrain her from landing blows on another one of our friend. Never seen a woman with such fury with no logical explaination - they said it was over a handphone. WHAT THE HELL!?

After lots of struggling and shouting, finally someone knocked on the door. The hotel bouncer has arrived. He dragged her out of the room and all the way to the lift. Me and two girls followed suit and brought her stuff along. They called her husband (yes she's my age and married) and she just slouched on the sofa. Two more persons came up to inspect the situation and suggested to carry her down. Dunno how come it came to this but I ended up have to carry her MYSELF. Someone whom I barely knew. Argh. Ok never mind I carried her to the lift - the kuku security just started to press the lift button(should have pressed it earlier!) and I had to stand watching the numbers jump SLOWLY from 1 till 28. Oh yeah, I just had a backsprain the other day.

As I entered the lift, I had to hold on and wait the numbers count SLOWLY AGAIN from 28 to 1. OMG~! After leaning on the lobby couch and finally puking over the carpet and MY HANDS, her husband arrived and took her away.

Extremely disturbing night and must have been extremely depressing for the birthday girl to have such a thing happening. I hope everything will not escalate out of hand between the group. :/

View of Pan Pacific Hotel from the 28th Floor as I was leaving in the morning.

Power ranting


The weather is changing already. Yesterday night, there were some serious thunders and showers over my area. I wonder if that's the reason for feeling lethargic over the past few days. Having backache since noon. Argh. I feel like shit now. My neck feels so tight, I wonder if it's due to stress or some other reasons. I need a massage!

Strong showing for the CCBT team recently. Wendy is picking up amazingly fast and that's good because that means she won't get the boot. I always tell her that I'm so disappointed and hope to celebrate the day she leaves the bank but of course that is not the case. I hope my reverse psychology work on her and strengthen her mentality. Everyone else is also doing kind of well. Seems like we're having another record month! Jac is also a strong performer now and she sells crazy campaigns. She also challenging me on our sales. I like that! Healthy competition. She complains about not hitting the target every single day. Power partner. Can motivate me to excel even more. Haha.

I'm no longer sure of a transfer now since I found out that I don't meet the qualifying education level for the position. Hmmmmm. Contradicting thoughts but well.. LAN PA PA LAN. Well, still doing fine so far. So see how it goes bah!

Went with my Dad on Saturday to buy handphone for my mom.. Look very long. I decided to choose the black Motorola V3 for my mom. It's the best looking phone, slim and good voice quality - endorsed by me as i'm using the silver one currently. Bring home liao, Dad suggest I use the black version. Hmmm. I brought both phones to Mom and asked her which she liked. She chose my own silver V3! Now I got new phone to use.. Black colour V3. Then today when I came back.. I found my old V3 on the table. Mom say too difficult to use, stick to her 8250. Now I got two V3. $#@&(*$#&@($*&#@(*$#@ !!!

Dad helped me arranged for a meeting of a ex regional director of DHL. Woah! My computer business suddenly got a boost. Kind of funny.. A young guy with 3 ah peh go lim kopi.. Talk about bizness.. Suddenly I felt like a little kid.. Same time I felt vulnerable. Although I knew my stuff, seated there was a veteran. I heard he is hugely successful with educational centres all over the world (he's into education now).. Well, I guess probably can only leverage on this old man to help me now. *Pray*

Tomorrow is the last working day of the week already! Hurray! And no clubbing for me. No no no!



Please don't do that again! Anyway the picture is pretty cool.

The Art of Clubbing


It's time to mellow down. November seems to usher in the era of clubbing because the hot topic nowadays is 'chionging' (tasteless word to use by the way) but for me, tonight i'm just gonna stay home, listen to some jazz CD which I bought in town the other day and clear my backlog of paperwork at home. Bills.. Filing... Thinking of what to do with the rest of my computer stock... The mere mention of it gives me headache. Ideas ideas where art thou?

I'm going to boycott Devils' Bar. It's really rubbish. The atmosphere suck, the songs are horrible and the ventilation is not working if there is one. The crowd control is sub-standard. The bouncers are incompetent, only know how to carry balls with members and friends of the boss but with the exception of one, who helped me find my car key when I lost it a few months back. Please give me a slap if you see me there.

Zouk/Velvet, Balaclava are alright and so is Acid Bar. Do visit these cool places! Clubbing is only cool when you go with people who are like-minded. Discuss about issues and stuff. Make friends. Understand each other better. People-watch. Observe. Improve working relationships or build a basic foundation for that matter. Investigate the dirt on someone. Whatever!

To do -

1) Dress up - Nothing pisses me off to see people dressed horribly for a night out. If you wanna club, dress up. Tastefully. Or else stay at home and watch TV. Who taught you how to dress like that anyway?!

2) Leave the Singlish and Hokkien vulgarities at home. You don't have to slang like you just came back from overseas. Just BASIC ENGLISH! If you must, make sure I'm not around or pretend you don't know me. We know it takes a higher level of learning to reach "bloody f***" or "chow *******" for that matter but we dun need to know your level of intelligence.

3) Don't give a black face. If you're unhappy about something, fix it or go home. People come out to have a good time, not to see your kuku face, pamper u or cheer you up.

4) Make conversation. If you wanna rattle on and on about something, make sure they are at least interested to know. Or at least engage the audience or return the favour by chatting them up. Or else, talk to your teddy bear at home.

5) Be prepared to go home alone. If you happen to stay near someone who's driving, that's a bonus. Otherwise, spare a thought for others. Unless they offer to drive you home of coz.

6) If you're driving, prepare to send at least 3 persons who will 'magically' be 'along the way'. If you're lucky, you'll go home straight!

7) If you're the organiser, at least arrive early. Don't leave your friends waiting. If you're invited, don't keep them waiting as well before going in too. At least not for too long. *wink* We know what's fashionably late but even stars suck at fashion at times.

This is what I think and what I practice.

What about you?

Holiday again!


It's another public holiday day tomorrow! This week sure is hard to work with alternating holidays after each working day. Can sense that everyone is on holiday mood - seats are empty, customers all on leave, etc. My leave is all spent on my examinations! Argh!

Well, I had a good time on Deepavali. Woke up around 10 plus to prepare for my date but ended up meeting her around 230pm due to some glitches with my hp not receiving her smses. Wah lau of all time my hp must malfunction during this time, swey. Almost spoil my day.

Not going into details, but we went town around afternoon. I really enjoy Orchard road in the afternoon. You guys should try it out sometime. I aim to hit Orchard Road next time in the mornings, enjoying a cuppa coffee with my newspaper at a coffee joint waiting for time to pass and money to fall from the sky. That would be a great day.. Hehz!

Had lunch, watched a movie, did some shopping and ended with coffee. Slowly walked towards the MRT..

"So what are you going home to do?" she asked. Before I can think of something, "To update your blog?"

Argh.. So you know! :) I grinned sheepishly and laughed it off. I'm cool...

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