rants of my life. clubs. music. people. relationships. love. hate. sports. sex. terrorists. money. luck.

Will sunshine ever come?


A earthquake measuring 8.9 hit off the coast of Indonesia's Sumatra around 7 am Sunday morning. It was the 5th largest in history! All regional coastal areas were hit by tsunamis as high as 12 m and above!

Even Singapore felt the tremors but that was it. Malaysia got hit pretty badly too. Phuket, which I just visited a few months ago, was quite serious. Phi Phi Islands had over 200 fatalities. How lucky we are in Singapore. If Sumatra is not in the way, Singapore would have been swept by tsunamis going more than 1/2 mile inland.

Someone close to my family had just passed away in Indonesia. My whole family is shocked and saddened by the news. We were supposed to go tomorrow to attend the wake but now this incident has prevented us from going. Why now? I badly wanted to go over yet I can't. Fuck this shit.

She weeps quietly throughout the willowy night,
wonders how long she will see sunlight
Never once does she say it out,
But I hear it in my heart out loud
One by one they start leaving,

she starts having qualms about living
As loneliness creeps up with age,
No one's protected from this stage.



Someone dropped me a comment on my blog. But I don't even know what language it is in!

Coño, que bueno estás. Con esa pedazo de boca tienes que hacer unas mamadas de la hostia. Seguro que haces gargaras con el semen. Me encantaria que me besaras con tu boca llena de semen y pasaras tu lengua por mi ano mientras lo lubricas con él.

Can you guys understand what it is? Ok, look for a word which is recognisable. Found it? It's "SEMEN". Wah lan eh SMLJ this guy was muttering... Anyway, the person's blog got lots of sexy pictures though, even had one with a girl's head head on the floor, but the body holding a pair of scissors, implying that she cut her own head off. Well that got my attention! But don't worry, it's all artistic art. I guess...

Missing You


I still remembered the first time i saw you on my first day. Images of you still linger in my thoughts now and then. It's funny how we got together. I didn't expect you to like me back, I always thought you deserved someone better. Friends around me always snigger at me when you appeared nearby. Your presence always made my day then. Finally we were brought together by Fate. I felt your breath on my neck when I sent you home that night. You were troubled yet lonely then. I was surprised you planted a kiss on my cheek at your doorstep.

Now and then we would call each other up and chat for hours. That night we chatted till 5am. I saw you the next day and you looked tired. I cheekily asked why you looked so tired. That look you gave me was priceless.

Another night came along and we finally got together. When you held my hand and leaned on me, your hand in mine felt rough and callous. I so wanted to take care of you to bring you happiness and joy.

Time passed and I didn't cherish what I had. Lost you and my sense of direction in life. Till today I'm still trying to pick up the pieces and where we left off. I feel that we were both just a stop in each other's lives. I guess it's hard to find a replacement for you. Hopefully one day images of you will drift away into the dark dark sky and a bright star shall glitter in my heart once more.

A hit to the file-sharing community


Suprnova.org is down. And no, it's not mis-spelled.

For the uninitiated, Suprnova.org is a website for movies, dramas, games, programs, etc. It is most probably the largest website on the Net. It houses bookmarks to files hosted on other's computers called Torrents.

If you want the file let's say "Friends Collection - Season 10", you open up this program called BitTorrent or several variations of it, you click the torrent. The torrent actually points to a webtracker, that tracks everyone who is clicking the torrent as you, plus the people who have the completed data. The people who have the completed file and just spreading the goodies around are called Seeders. People who are still downloading are just called Leechers.

The difference about this protocol is that it's all mutual, you download random parts of the file, you will auto-upload the random parts of it to the rest and it all goes round and round. Result? Super fast transfer speeds. And unlike other programs like Kazaa which have lots of bogus files(no prize for guessing who's doing it), it's impossible to fake or corrupt the data transfer as it has sophisticated file-integrity checking in place.

Well, this morning this website was shut down along with other several websites. It seems that the RIAA has spoken. Recent articles published in the papers seemed to be the reason for this. Companies which suffered loss of income due to the prolification of this peer-to-peer file sharing program were reported threatening to sue the creator. Well, the demise of this website seems to be a step to stopping file sharing like what happened to the likes of Napster and Morpheous. It's a matter of time before the rest of the websites providing torrents are hit.

BT is such an amazing program. Given the limitations of certain technical aspects of broadband access, the way it works still surprises the geek in me sometimes. Sometimes over a bowl of Katong Laksa or BBQed stingray in Bedok 85, I would rave about how wonderful it is to my friends and recommend them to use it. It has became a daily computer task in my life, always occupying an icon on my taskbar. A demise to this wonder of P2P world would be heart-shattering!

Back to School


It seems that the computer industry is stagnant already. I've heard stories of my fellow classmates settling for pay like $1K - 1.2K. I had been extremely disturbed by this even before I had entered NS. IT is not a simple field. Yes concepts can be learnt fairly easily. But what about low level programming, HTML, XML, whatever L that pops up every few years or months even? Apart from this, what about the hardware that runs the application? Or the application that runs your programming? These are all skills that are not easily learnt and oftenly found out by the hard way, eg. Hard disk crash, virus attack, etc. Even then, those found in the various specialised field are often handsomely/beautifully(gender differentiated) paid. However, this industry is either saturated or getting smaller, hence some guys getting fucked up pay. If I'm not wrong, a waiter is even higher paid than them by the hour. Pathetic. Sad. Demoralised.

Thinking that other fields may be useful, I've just enrolled into SIM for their part-time Dip. In Management Studies. Hopefully this pays off. If all goes well, with above average results and enough working experience(they want supervisory/management experience) for 2 1/2 years, I can get a Bach in just 18 months after that. Let's just keep my fingers and toes crossed. MDIS is a joke, you can get a degree in 3 years with just 'O' Levels if you do not possess a business dip. It's quite cheap, plus you only study 2 days per week for 3 hours each! To think they keep saying it's not for profit and the govt. is involved in some way. I passed that.

Thinking back, those years at TP-ITAS is probably wasted. Should have gone to study Business in the first place. You can implement aspects of what you study in Business into everywhere, even in a company selling toilet rolls. From a certain perspective, as long money is involved, the business concept is there already right? Can I program a toilet roll? No. Program a dog? No. Program a VR Babe? Maybe. Choices are just too limited. Argh.

And let's face it. There are more babes in business than simply just the female gender of humans in technology sector. Although not an important factor, this can be a plus point. Who can resist stealing a glace at a cute babe strolling in the hallway? :)

Hopefully working and studying altogether can give a sense of satisfaction only matched by the relief of arriving in a miraculous clean toilet in Omega-perfect timing having a diarrhoea after National Day Parade.

Signing off.

December Rants


The 4400
A great show to watch. Fans of "Taken" and sci-fi suspense should like this new highly acclaimed series showing currently on AXN channel. Heard the buzz about it and decided to download it off BitTorrent on the net. To learn more about it, you guys can visit www.the4400.com and check out the stuff. Heard the rating's pretty good.

Hung out at Zouk again on fri. Arrived fashionably late at 1120 and sashayed in. Turns out that Heineken got free beers earlier on. Luckily my kiasu friends took like 20-30 bottles earlier on. Well, that didn't stop us from finishing it, along with the LITs, bourbons and whiskys. Got grilled by Gary coz he says he always call and msg me but I don't reply. Where got man... Anyway, the usual suspects were there, but heard one guy still stuck in Australia doing dishwashing to make $$$ after exams to go on a trip with the rest of the gang, ROFLOL. Lots of babes and stuff tonight. One obviously drunk misorientated girl wanted to lean on me.. Lucky her friend dragged her away, dun wanna have puke all over my shirt. Then I saw another one in classic pose on the floor outside Zouk. Jeez, girls' knocked out make me sick.

Anyway, I wanna thank the Gods and whoever that blessed me at 3.30am on 12.11.2004 because after Zouk and supper, I hit a police road block at easily over 100km/hr round a curve on the way home. Car brakes were suuppppperrr responsive and silent that they nv said anything. But one guy look at me and asked me to park at the side. I was like thinking "fuck la.... why so heng... today drink so much but i feel ok but now still kanna this sure ask me take breath test one". A female officer peeped in and said "Please turn off your engine. Car licence, I/C and your car insurance please". I wayang wayang la, pattern here a bit and there, look for my stuff, pass to her, the other guy chit chat with me, then after a few mins of talking on her radio she said "Ok you may go." WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Lots of thanks from me to the gods and S.P.F. :P

It seems like December is a good month for babies, I had to get another gift for someone again. I smell smoke coming out from my pockets. Seems like a hole's burning. But I guess it's all about making one happy on one's birthday I guess...

Is it just me?


Yesterday on a Tuesday it was our dear Fanny's birthday! She invited me to Madam Wong to celebrate with her colleagues. Initially I didn't want to go because I did not know the people there but after mingering a while, I found out that they were quite ok and nice people. One of the guys there actually used to be in the same dept as my eldest brother in Stan Chart. Later don't know how the news travelled until they say we are ex-lovers.. Now I'm gay? lol. Anyway, hope she likes what me and les had bought for her. :P

Nowadays I've been meeting with friends from the past and it's great. We always chat about how times were fun last time, who and who were together that time and all the funny things that happened. I don't know but when I simply asked this two lucky ladies whether they getting married as they have been with their boyfriends for since the last time we gathered (like 5-6 years) they all give me the same answer. "Must marry meh?? Prefer not! What if not the one??"

Haha "why not?!?" Are these two just been coy with me? Or you wanna give me chance?? *LOL* muahaha crap. ok guys next time I ask u "when breaking up? faster leh......!" So many years, if not the one then WHEN!?!? I wondered what did they mean by that. After spending so many years together, they aren't sure whether the guy is the one? Hmm. Some say it's because it's a lifestyle already being together. Whether there's any more flames in the heart, we don't know. As one grows older, romance seems to take a backseat while convenience and familiarity takes priority. Or perhaps it's just a matter of making an effort. In a society dominated by work and pursuits of paper, do people have any time for that at all? When they do have time for that, do they feel that the time and effort spent can be better invested in somewhere else?

My self-declared holidays are coming to an end soon. Actually I can't find any goodness in lazing around. Other than the fact that you can enjoy what you want to do, I'll rather prefer a busy schedule. Last time while I was working in the computer industry, it was always work work work but at the end of the day, it was always where to hang out. I worked hard and played hard. Working in an industry which you love and know like the back of your hand was the one thing I felt most rewarding and happy in. This is how life should be. This is how I shall pursue it!

Well, enough rest! Time to get things moving. :D

Till next time, Blog.

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